Distortion II
by elfin
My Dearest, Dearest Will,
Your letter left me... breathless.
I see now how deeply I hurt you and how utterly I betrayed you.
I feel that I owe you. And so, I've walked inside your fantasy.
What you've told me about yourself, what you gave to me in that letter was
more than I ever dreamed of from anyone. Men have submitted to me
in the past, but only because they believed they would win my approval.
You won nothing, gained nothing, by writing that letter. Or maybe
you did. What particular demons are you facing here, Will?
Have you tried to commit suicide again? I hear things, you know.
And Chilton does like to dangle snippets of news in front of me like carrots.
It entertains me to play along now and again. One day, I'm going to
eat his ears.
The idea of you lying naked in the bath, slitting your wrists deeply, methodically,
aroused me. Not the blood, or your pain, but to know that I led you
to it.
But then, you know now that it would have made me feel that way.
You know me better now.
Not until I read what you sent to me did I begin to hurt for you.
To learn that feelings and thoughts I harboured secretly for you, but considered
too dangerous, too risky to act on, were mutual was very satisfying, if
a little frustrating that I did not know earlier.
So, as I stepped into your fantasy I found myself adding to it, exploring
it. If it's not too presumptuous, I'll let you into my mind.
It's somewhere very few have been, although whether you will see this as
a privilege like so many of my fans would, I doubt it.
Your own image of you lying on the red covers of my dark bed was an inspired
one. Nothing so grand ever adorned my bedroom, but that doesn't matter,
does it? I close my eyes and the image of you naked and pale against
deep crimson comes so easily into my mind.
You're beautiful, Will. Did I ever tell you that? Just one
of the many idle thoughts I kept from you when I know now, belatedly, that
I needn't have.
I imagine myself leaning over you as you lie there with my cock in your
ass. So crude a description, don't you think, for such an intimate act?
What more trust could one alpha male show another?
I see myself, my own weight balanced easily on one arm as I run fingers
through your silken blond hair.
Beneath the soft strands carding through my fingers, I can feel the hardness
of your scalp and below that, your skull. I slide my hand down, leaning
in to tongue your ear as I cradle my palm over your throat. I'd never
hurt you when you're here, like this. That you trust me not to is
the most arousing thing of all. You don't know about me, you don't
look at me with fear and repulsion. You open your eyes and regard
me with an incredible awe, a companionable contentment and even a touch
of affection.
I see you as something precious to me.
Transferring my weight to both arms, I lean in to kiss the very back of
your neck, to nip at the tender skin above each vertebrae as I work my way
down the sensual curve of your spine.
Sitting up, pulling you into my lap while I'm still inside you, makes you
an equal. I hand over control to you. Like this, you can have
me as deep as you want, or rise from me completely. And like this,
I can touch you as I want to.
You move against me, such a sensualist without really ever knowing it.
I know what it's cost you to do this, to give yourself to me so completely.
I see the masks you wear, the thin barriers between you and the horror you
face. You don't know the horror making love to you. I prefer
it that way, prefer that you never know.
Forgive me, I keep interrupting your fantasy.
Your description of our shared orgasm is perfect. I can feel your
climax, your body spasming around mine where I'm buried inside you.
When you come over my hand, I welcome the warm, sticky liquid on my flesh.
As I lower you to the bed, I raise my hand to my mouth and lick at the
semen there. The taste of you is addictive. I lie beside you,
over you, stroking you, one leg between your two, knee pulled up slightly
between your still parted thighs.
And I wait, until your breathing has evened out, until you're utterly relaxed,
lying in the illusion of safety, an illusion I will never shatter for you.
As you hover on the brink of sleep, I move down, trailing a path of kisses
along the curve of your spine until I am able to nip your tailbone between
my teeth.
You stir, murmur and if I look up I could see you smile.
But you're too comfortable to shift and I continue my journey downwards.
Wrapping myself around your legs, my own dangling from the base of the
mattress, I push your already bent knee up slightly higher and lean in to
flick my tongue along the smooth skin on the inside of one slim thigh.
A little of my semen has dried there and the bitter taste is intoxicating.
Lifting my head a little, I lap like a cat at the trail of sticky moisture
until I'm nuzzling your sensitive genitals, now soft and sated.
You murmur something but I don't hear the words. With the tip of
my tongue, I tease your perineum, tracing tantalising patterns on the delicate
skin. You try to move away now. Whether it's because I'm tickling
you or you're embarrassed at what I might do next, I don't know. But I reach
up and press the palm of one hand into the small of your back, holding you
gently in place.
With my other hand, I pry apart your buttocks to expose your sore anus
to me once again. This time, you mutter, "no", but I won't take "no"
for an answer, and I slide my tongue over that reddened ring of muscle.
Instead of fighting me, you push back as well you can, and I can't help
but smile. You're a slut for me, Will.
No longer needing to hold you there, I part you with the fingers of both
hands, spreading my digits along the deep crack. Now I can see my
semen leaking from you, and it's the most erotic sight. Eagerly, I
lick it from around your hole, then pressing my mouth between your cheeks
I push my tongue inside you.
The fresh tang of my fluids and the deep musk of you combine to make an
exquisite meal.
I can feel you squirming above me, uncertain whether what I'm doing is
turning you on or disgusting you. It's not a decision you have to
make. You're so open to me. For a long time I lie there enjoying
you, adoring the smell and taste of you - of us.
It's an arousing act, and despite our previous love making, my erection
is swelling once more. I know that taking you again will hurt just a
little, but I can't resist. Kissing my way back up along your body,
I lie over you and positioning myself, I pop the head of my cock passed your
open hole.
You try to move away, but it's not really what you want and slowly you
let me have you again. I take it easy, not going too deep, just sliding
inside enough to push over your prostate with every burning entry.
Wrapping one arm over you, I stroke your nipples, pulling on them a little,
pinching them, pondering how much you'd really be able to take. I
have some wonderful clamps.... But not right now. Moving on,
I caress your stomach, my fingers tracing the path along your abdomen that
fate would have opened in the wake of a wicked blade.
Instead, it's only the tips of my fingers that scar you.
By the time I reach your groin, your cock is hard, pushing into my hand.
I know it's aching, and I wrap it in a tight, loving fist.
We come together, as we did before, you spilling over my hand as I release
myself inside you.
This time, I let you sleep. It has been so long since I've had another
soul in my bed that I cannot rest with you. For a time, I watch you,
then I cover you with a warm, woollen throw and retire downstairs to continue
my book.
I know it's not enough, Will. I know it's too late for us.
This is, indeed, a cruel world.
Yours always,
H.
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