With thanks to Tomy and Pfyre for beta reading

Crossing The Pond
by elfin

Three -  One So Rare
 

Michael hadn’t heard the telephone ring.  At first he thought David must be talking in his sleep.  Then he was being nudged and the handset was put in his hand.  “Emmett,” his lover told him before settling back.
“Emmett?  What time….”
“Michael, something’s happened.”  The tone of his voice, more than the words, snapped Michael awake.
“What?”
“Brian’s been taken to the hospital.”  He paused, letting the words sink in.  “They found your number in his wallet and called here.  Ted’s picking me up in two minutes, we’ll pick you up in ten.”
Michael was already clambering out from under the covers.  “What happened?”
“I don’t… Ted’s here.  See you in 10.”
“Em?”  The phone had already gone dead.  “Em?  Shit!”

Michael practically threw the handset on to the bedside table.  He’d pulled his trousers on by the time he remembered exactly where he was.  “I… have to go,” he explained without explaining.  David gave him that look, the one that had Brian’s murder etched into it.  “He’s been taken to the hospital, they tried to call me at the apartment.”
“The number of strangers he takes home with him, I’m surprised something hasn’t happened before now.”  He regretted it the moment the words were out.  Brian could have been in a car accident.  Again.
Michael glared at him, but his worries overrode any need to defend Brian right now.  “Ted’s picking me up.”  He heard David’s sigh and shook his head.  Pulling a sweater on, he closed the door behind him.

*

They all ran through the hospital corridor into the reception area.  Michael’s eyes looked around wildly for someone who at least looked as if they could be remotely helpful.  In that time, the others – Emmett and Ted – caught up and ran into the back of him.  Michael had accosted a doctor with the use of a combination of desperate eyes and his winning smile.
“Brian Kinney….”
“Yes.”  The doctor put a hand on Michael’s shoulder and looked around him.  “Jay!”  He called a second doctor over to him.  “Brian Kinney?”
The other man came over.  “Are you Michael?”  He nodded.  “Come with me?”  He glanced at the other two concerned faces.  “If you could just wait.  You can see him, in a little while, okay?”  Emmett and Ted nodded, frankly stunned that the doctor had given them any reassurance at all.

Michael stopped in mid-stride when he set eyes on his friend.  Brian was on his back, covered by a white sheet, eyes closed, arm crossed over his chest.  His battered face was turned toward the door.  “Oh my God….  Brian….”  Whispering the words, he moved slowly to stand at his friend’s side.
“It’s not as bad as it looks.”  Michael started when Brian’s slurred voice spoke to him, eyes staying closed.  But he recovered quickly and reached down to touch the hand lying on the white sheets.  He could have sworn he felt Brian wince.

“What happened?”
There was no answer for a time.  And then, quietly, “I said no, he didn’t care.”
It was a moment before what Brian had said sunk in.

* * *

They’d kept him in the hospital for two days, run blood tests, patched him up.  This morning he’d found out, to his relief, that he was negative.  The bastard who’d raped him hadn’t used a condom, he was sure of that, and he was grateful for the results.  Emmett had teased him about his turning religious on them.  The idea was as distasteful as the event that had forced the situation.

Brian had spent the last three days back at Michael and Emmett’s apartment with Michael in tow.  David still wasn’t speaking to him, but Michael was too busy dealing with the fallout of Brian’s emotional state to worry about his own life.  David had been round to see Debbie though.  She’d called, although the fact she hadn’t chewed her son out over it was proof, if any was needed, that she too was concerned for their personal fairytale villain.

Only now had Brian decided he could face the loft.  Michael and Ted had come here on Brian’s suggestion that they fetch him some clothes.  But Michael had known what his best friend was actually asking.  What state was the place in?  Were there any clues as to what had happened?  Any reminders?

There hadn’t been.  The under-sheets were a mess where the larger man had pinned Brian to the bed, but that had been all.  The top sheet had been taken by the police as evidence, although so far they’d had no luck in tracing the guy despite that for once, Brian remembered his first name.

There was no other sign of Brian’s half-hour-long ordeal.  Michael couldn’t have been more relieved.  His friend had spent the last three nights sleeping in his bed, wearing pyjamas for the first time in ever – the black silk ones Michael had bought him the day he’d come out of hospital.  He’d never bought silk before, he didn’t think he’d ever touched a man wearing silk either.  It played hell with his body in the mornings when he woke up with Brian using his chest as a pillow, curled around him like an innocent.

It had been a surprise when Brian had asked to go home.  Michael had felt a stab of disappointment but he’d known it was coming.  There was no way Brian was going to put up with Emmett for much longer, nor the other way around.  Emmett had been very accommodating because of what had happened.  But when they’d started arguing last night about the deep and meaningful story line of the new video, ‘Enema At The Gates’, Michael had known the end was nigh.

They’d been watching a lunchtime talk show when Brian had asked.  He’d been lying on the couch, head at one corner, watching the show with some frustration.  When the fifteen-year-old boy had claimed, in his infinite wisdom, that he had the right to live with his forty year-old mathematics teacher, Brian had turned, rested his chin on the arm of the couch and looked at Michael with large hazel eyes.
“I should go back to the loft.”
He could have asked for the moon at that moment.  That Lost Puppy-Dog look was very rare for Brian – usually he was hooked on his ‘seductively sexy’ expression, or at the very least ‘smouldering’.  This look was one Michael wouldn’t be forgetting in a very long time.
“You don’t have to.”
Brian had sighed softly.  “I know.  But I want to.  I think.”
Michael had simply nodded.  “Okay….  I’ll come with you.  And if you don’t want to stay there, we’ll pick up some stuff and come back.”
The relieved smile was rarer than the Puppy Dog look.  “Thanks.”

*

Michael slid back the loft door and stepped inside, Brian following, looking around as if the place was suddenly strange to him.
“So?”
Brian jerked his head around to look at his friend like he’d forgotten he was there.  He didn’t answer at first, but seemed to think about the single-syllable question.  “What did I used to do here?”
Michael bit back on the immediate retort.  Moving closer, he reached up, wrapping his hand around the back of his friend’s neck in support.  “Like I said, you don’t have to stay.”
Brian smiled at him.  Then he seemed to snap out of it, and he crossed to the kitchen.  Michael took the bag he’d been carrying up onto the platform that served as the bedroom and dropped it to the floor.
“I need to go to the store,” he heard the quiet voice mutter.  He smiled to himself.  Brian hated to shop.
“I’ll go,” Michael chimed in with an exaggerated sigh as he stepped back down into the living area.
They were long passed Brian telling him that he didn’t have to.  He just smiled his thanks from where he stood behind the kitchen work surface.  He looked nervy, and Michael hesitated.  “Will you be all right?”
“Yes.”  He hoped his best friend would see through the word to the truth buried there.
Michael nodded, seeing clearly.  “I’ll be an hour, max.”
 

He was an hour and a half, but that was the problem with being a manager at the local store.  He’d taken time off to look after a sick friend, so they were all interested in who, how and what.

Michael pushed open the heavy loft door and crossed to the kitchenette, placing the bags on the work surface.  “Brian?” he called out, starting to pull things from the first bag, the food that needed to be in the fridge.  When he didn’t get a reply he looked up.  From where he stood he could see Brian sitting on the edge of his bed facing the window.  Frowning, Michael walked around the cupboards and crossed the lounge area to step up onto the platform.  “Brian?”

Not until he touched his friend’s shoulder did he realise the subtle trembling running through his slender frame.  Very few things made Brian cry.  One thing in fact.  His father.  No one and nothing else on this Earth had the ability to crack the stone mask of this usually outwardly composed, self-confident man.  Until now.

“Hey….”  Crouching down in front of Brian, Michael carefully slid his hand up his friend’s arm.  Brian, unlike Brian, hadn’t been very physical since the attack.  Only to be expected, Debbie had warned him.  It wasn’t often his Mom found sympathy for Kinney in her enormous heart.  Brian’s eyes were closed, tears leaking from the corners, trickling over his cheeks.

Michael remained where he was for a long few minutes, unsure whether he should leave Brian alone for a while or whether he was wanted here.  As if making the decision for him, Brian reached across his own chest and covered Michael’s hand with his own.
“How can it hurt so much?”  It was barely a whisper, but Michael caught it.  He didn’t have an answer for it.  Brian sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his other hand.  He opened his eyes and met his friend’s concerned gaze.  “I sleep with a different guy every single night.  Why is this one so painful?”

With a hurting sigh, Michael sat up on the bed next to him, moving his arm carefully around Brian’s shoulders.  “Because you didn’t want him.  He took what you didn’t want him to have.”
“I changed my mind.  I’ve done it before and they’ve just left.”
“This one didn’t just leave.”
Brian moved his head, one side to the other.  Michael was all out of words.  He guessed they were lucky this hadn’t happened before now.  How many strangers had they taken home between them over the years?  Once they’d almost lost Ted and this time… who knew what else this guy could have done?  Again, Brian seemed to be reading his mind.

“I’m guess I’m lucky it’s all he did.”
Leaning forward, Michael pressed his lips to the dark hair.  “We’re all lucky.  I don’t know what I would do….”
Brian turned, forehead to forehead.  He moved his hand from atop Michael’s to the slim neck.  “Don’t,” he murmured.  “…I was scared.”  Michael nodded.  He would have been terrified.  He didn’t want to think about this man, whom he loved so deeply, going through that.

“Will you stay… just for a while?”
“You don’t have to ask.”
Of course he didn’t have to ask.  This was Michael, he’d been there every minute of every day of every week… for this entire life.  And for some reason that thought, this time, put strength behind his tears.  “I always take you for granted.”
Michael felt the wetness on his arm.  He hated to see Brian cry.  Shifting, he wrapped his thin arms around the other’s neck and pulled the dark head down to his shoulder.

For an age he sat with Brian crying quietly in his arms.  Never before had he felt like he was the one in control.  This was something new.  But he held him tight and refused to let go.  He didn’t speak, didn’t know what to say.  He only had himself to offer, and whatever comfort that could be, he was more than willing to give.  He stroked his hand through the dark silken hair.

Finally, the trembling form in his arms stopped trembling.  Brian leaned exhaustedly into Michael.  “I needed that,” he whispered, almost a chuckle.  Michael smiled his relief into his friend’s neck.
“This is me, Brian.  You don’t have to hide from me.”  He felt the other man shift, felt the soft lips on his throat.  He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, harshly ignoring his body’s seemingly natural reactions to Brian’s nearness.  For a moment, he couldn’t remember how he usually escaped from dangerous situations like this.
“What does it feel like, Mikey?”
“What does what feel like?” he struggled to concentrate on Brian’s question.
“Making love.”
Michael snorted, “like you don’t know.”  He managed to pull away slightly, breaking the contact of Brian’s lips on his skin.
“I don’t.”  They sat back, and Brian looked at him with that innocent look that would melt steel.  “I know what it’s like to have sex.”

This man could break hearts with one line.

“I wish I could show you.”  The words were barely a breath.  But Brian heard them.
“Why can’t you?”
Michael couldn’t believe they were having this conversation.  “You know why,” he spoke carefully, trying to control the tremor in his voice.  “We’d never forgive ourselves, Brian.”
“But it’s what you’ve been waiting for.”
Michael had always thought those words would be spoken in anger, but they were so gentle.  A part of him was screaming that it was exactly what he’d been waiting for.  But a greater part, a part that had been dropped on its head more often than he could remember, was used to this shit from Brian.  ‘He’s been raped’, that calm little voice intoned, ‘he’s hurting.  He needs you now, but it’s not what you want.  You want more, and you’ll never have it.  You’re not going to give him the one part of you he still doesn’t have.  Because what if you do…?’

“Maybe,” he finally answered Brian’s statement.  “But I’m not going to use you like he did.”  It was unintentionally cruel.  Brian winced and pulled away from him, wiping his face with the back of his sleeve as he got up.  “Brian….”
He stopped by the sofa.  “No… it’s….  Isn’t it what I’ve been doing to you for the last fifteen years?  Using you?”
Regretting those words, Michael stepped down to stand behind his best friend, wrapping his arms around the slim waist.  He pressed his cheek to Brian’s shoulder.  “I’m sorry.”  He felt warm hands wrap around his forearms.
“Don’t be.”
“How about I make you something to eat?  You can sit and watch the porn channel.”
That brought forth a chuckle.  Michael pressed a kiss to the back of Brian’s neck and squeezed him gently for a moment before releasing him.

*

Michael wandered back to the suite and took the TV remote from where it dangled from Brian’s fingers.  They’d eaten, then his ward had taken a long hot shower, come to lie on the sofa wrapped in his dark towelling gown and promptly fallen asleep.  He looked impossibly angelic when he was asleep.  He had the face of an angel.  Michael knew better.  When they’d come away from the hospital that first night Brian had been in, Emmett had asked no one in particular, how someone could do something like that?  How could someone hold down a panicked, fighting man and rape him?  Did that kind of person have a shred of humanity?

Brian wasn’t the kindest of people, the most considerate of lovers.  He used them and dumped them and for most of the men he picked up, that was enough.  It was all they wanted too.  But now and again there were those who wanted more.  Like Justin, who had somehow he’d squirmed his way into all of their lives and as far into Brian’s heart as he would likely ever get.  Like Vince, the mysterious Englishman who Brian seemed more emotional about than he’d ever been over anyone else.  Except for Michael of course.  They loved one another, they’d admitted that several times.  He knew he was the only person to have heard those words from Brian not in the throes of passion.  He could only fantasise about hearing them spoken in desire.  But he wanted the meaning to remain, the sincerity.  And he knew it wouldn’t.

Turning off the TV, Michael got to his feet.  He’d have an early night.  This was unusual, and his body was quite enjoying getting some rest.  He couldn’t remember the last time they’d spent five nights in a row at home.  Emmett and Ted had gone to Woody’s.  Michael had gladly given up his nights to stay with Brian for as long as he needed him to, as long as it took for him to find his confidence again.  This had really shaken him.

Pulling the duvet from Brian’s bed, he gently threw it over his best friend, having to tear his eyes from where that single lock of hair had fallen over Brian’s eyes.  Pulling himself together, he stepped up to the platform, undressed and dropped down onto the double bed, angling himself so that he could watch Brian sleep.  He was starting to drift off when an unfamiliar tone dragged him back to the here and now.  His own cell phone was on the table and Brian had a handset for his digital one next to the bed, but the sound was coming from neither of those.  Scooting to the edge of the mattress, Michael peered underneath.  Brian’s cell phone was on the floor, about a foot away.  Reaching for it, Michael realized it must have wound up there that night….  He pushed it from his mind.

He pressed Receive.  Before he had a chance to speak, an excited voice on the end beat him to it.  “Bri! Christ, where the ‘ell have you been?”
As always with guys who actually got close enough to Brian for the man to remember their names, Michael knew exactly who the English accent belonged to.  “This is Vince, right?”
Silence.  And then, “who is this?”
“Michael.”
“Right.  Hi ya.”  Then worry set in.  “Where’s Bri?”
“He’s asleep on the couch.”
“Well… where’s he been?  I’ve left messages, text messages, emails….”
Michael took a deep breath.  “Brian was attacked last Friday night.  They kept him in the hospital for two days then he was staying with me for three.  He hasn’t been near his computer and I’ve just found his phone under the bed.”
“…Attacked?  Is he okay?”
He could clearly hear the concern.  “Yeah.  He’s okay.  I can get him to call you in the morning.”
“Thanks.  Michael… you’re looking after him, right?”
Michael was touched.  “Of course.  He’s gonna be okay.”
“Give ‘im my love.”

Michael ended the call and put the phone onto the table.  It would need recharging tomorrow but leaving it there would remind him to tell Brian about the phone call.  He sat up, checking on Brian, before settling back to try to sleep.  A minute later, his own cell phone rang.  Sighing, he grabbed it and hit Receive with his thumb.
“Yeah.”
“Michael, it’s me.”  David.  He closed his eyes.
“David… hi.”
“Hi.  I was… I’m sorry.  I reacted badly and I shouldn’t have.  Debbie told me what happened to Brian.  How is he?”
Michael hesitated.  He wasn’t even sure that David gave a shit.  “He’s okay,” Michael stayed neutral, worried that he wasn’t feeling the knots in his stomach.
“Right.  So… where are you?”
“Brian’s loft.  He wanted to come home.”
“And you’re… staying with him.”
Michael made his sigh audible.  “Yes, I’m staying with him.  He needs me, David.”
“And what about me?”  The quickly fired question pushed Michael that little bit too hard.
“What about you?”  He ended the call, throwing his phone across the bed so it landed on the pillows.

“He doesn’t like you staying with me, does he?”  Michael didn’t have to open his eyes to know where Brian was standing, close to the foot of the bed.  He was hovering, which was unusual.
“I don’t give a shit what he likes and doesn’t like.”  He turned on to his front and looked up.  “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Brian shrugged.  “Look, Mikey, after everything we’ve been through to get you two together….”
Michael rolled his eyes.  He sat up, holding out his hand.  Brian took it.  “Do you want me to leave?”  He waited.  At first, Brian didn’t move or speak.  Finally, there was a small shake of his head.  Michael didn’t expect nor need anything else.  “Then I’m staying.  Come on, come to bed.”  He didn’t miss the rise of Brian’s eyebrows and met the expression with a fond smile.

*

When Michael woke, the morning sun was streaming in through the bedroom window and he could hear Brian messing around in the kitchen.  Sliding out of bed, he padded down from the platform and across the loft to sit at the breakfast bar.  “Been up long?”
Brian shook his head, then a moment later, nodded.  “About two hours.  Couldn’t sleep.”
Michael didn’t have a suggestion.  “Before I forget, Vince rang last night.”

Brian stared at him.  “Shit!”  Diving out from the kitchen, he grabbed the phone and, hesitating while he remembered the number, he dialled.  As the phone on the other end rang, Brian calculated the time difference in his mind.  Nine fifteen here meant it was… two fifteen there.  He let it ring, knowing Vince would be at work but needing to talk to him now.
“…art, better be good.”  He sounded harassed and Brian guessed he’d disturbed something at work.  As for the assumption it was Stuart… the Irishman that Vince had mentioned had been calling him in the middle of the night so much longer than he’d even known Brian Kinney.   Like he and Michael and the other hangers-on.

“Vince?”
“Bri!”  The caller had his complete attention in a second.  “I’ve missed you!  How are ya?  Michael said you’d been attacked?”
Brian couldn’t believe how much the worry in the other’s tone meant to him.  “I’m all right.  Last Friday night, the guy I brought home raped me.”
There was a moment’s silence.  “Bri, no….”
“I’m fine, honestly.  It’s not like I don’t have a stranger every night anyway.”  He knew he wasn’t being very convincing.  He wanted to be.  The last thing he wanted was to worry his English Rose.  “Sorry I haven’t called.”
“Don’t be daft!  You’ve had enough to deal with.  You’re sure you’re okay?  If you want to talk…?”
Brian smiled to himself.  So few people would say that to him.  “Thanks.  Go back to work, I’ll call later.”
“Anytime, Bri, honest.”

Dropping the phone handset to the couch, Brian wondered back into the kitchenette.  “I should’ve called him.  I can’t believe I forgot.”
Michael listened curiously.  “Brian… what is it about this guy?”  His reply was a frown.  “No one’s got under your skin like this Vince.  Not even Justin.”
Brian didn’t want to admit how close Justin had come.  But he was aware that Vince had stepped between them.  “I don’t know,” he stated as he gave the coffee his full attention.

Michael his own question for most of the morning.  Finally it clicked.  Vince was a thousand miles away.  He couldn’t touch Brian’s life, couldn’t look into his eyes and see the truths and the lies there, couldn’t tie him down in any way.  Vince couldn’t worm his way into Brian’s life, but he was somehow worming his way into the man’s heart.
 

At just gone four that afternoon, the intercom buzzed.
“It’s me,” Emmett’s light tone informed them.  “I’ve intercepted a delivery for you so you have to let me in.”
Michael glanced at where Brian was sitting at his desk checking his emails and catching up on at least his paperwork.  The dark head nodded without looking up.  “Come up, Em.”
Michael waited until he heard the elevator and yanked open the heavy door.  He had to help open the gate.  Emmett had his arms full of flowers.

Brian looked up as the strong, sweet scent followed the two into the loft.  He tilted his head.  “Emmett….”
“Don’t start at me,” he warned.  “As I was coming in this guy from the flower shop asked me if I knew you.  When I said I did, for my sins, he unloaded practically his entire van on me.”
Brian got up.  “Mikey?”  But Michael held up a hand of innocence, placing the three bouquets he’d taken from Emmett onto the breakfast bar.
“Don’t look at me, I couldn’t afford this.”
“There’s… a card.”  Emmett reached between the two bunches of red roses and the three bunches of carnations, lifting a small envelope and handing it to Brian.  Watching with amusement, as Michael and Emmett unloaded the flowers onto the work surface, Brian opened the envelope.  The picture on the front of the card was a black and white photo of the finely muscled back of a naked man.  Opening it, he read the message.

‘Bri.  Feel better soon.  Love you, Babe.  Vince’

Smiling, feeling inordinately happy despite the ribbing he was going to get – especially when Ted found out – Brian handed the card to Michael.  “I’m assuming you know how to arrange flowers,” he grinned at Emmett.
“I might.  I’m assuming you don’t possess a vase.”
“No.”  Leaning over the breakfast bar, Brian indicated a cupboard.  “There are beer jugs in there.”
Emmett opened the door.  “You have shares in a company?”  There were over ten four-pint jugs in there.
“No, swiped from Woody’s many Happy Hours.”
Michael came to lean next to Brian, standing the card on the bar.  “They’re gorgeous.”
“Yeah.”  They both met Emmett’s curious gaze.  They didn’t stop him from picking up the card and reading it.  He replaced it slowly and with a delightful smile.
“I thought you were allergic to boyfriends baring flowers.”  Brian knew he had the comment coming and let it pass, dignifying Emmett with only a hard stare.  “’Babe’?”  Emmett’s eyebrows danced.
Brian looked away.  “He’s a sweetheart.  And he’s a thousand miles away, if you have to know.”
Emmett grinned.  “Oh I do have to know.  Especially if you want these flowers arranged.”
“Just do the flowers, Emmett.”  Brian picked up the card again.

*

A week ago, Brian had spotted someone on the dance floor at Babylon who’d attracted his attention.  They’d danced, perhaps kissed.  They’d touched and caressed.  And Brian had taken him home.  Then for some reason only he knew, Brian had changed his mind.  But the guy hadn’t, and he’d taken what he wanted anyway.

Tonight they met the others in Woody’s, walking in to Emmett and Ted’s standing ovation.   Brian guessed that Ted knew about the flowers, and had known from about thirty seconds after he’d met up with Emmett.

Leaving Brian with the other two, Michael went to get the drinks in, surprised when Justin came to lean on the bar next to him.  He was still trying to school a frustrated expression when the young man spoke.  “How is he?”
Frowning, Michael regarded their underage hanger-on.  “How is who?”
Justin gave him that look.  “Debbie told me.”
“Right.”  Of course she had.  Michael glanced across at where Brian was standing talking to Ted while Emmett attempted to take a shot at the final striped ball.  It dawned on Michael that Justin had come to talk to him rather than approach Brian directly, immediately.  The lad had grown up in the last six months.  “He’s… not really himself right now,” he answered honestly.
Justin nodded.  “Think he’d… mind if I said hello?”
Michael frowned, and then he shrugged.  “Sure.  I have no idea why you’re asking me.”  But Justin had already pushed away from the bar.

“Hey.”  Justin slid one butt cheek up onto the wooden edge of the pool table.  He caught Brian’s smile and smiled in return.  “I’ve been missing you.”
It gave Brian the chance to take the conversation in whatever direction he wanted to take it.  “I bet,” he added a grin to the words, feeling, for the first time in a week, a little confidence return.
Justin felt that and shifted closer, touching Brian’s leg with his foot suggestively.  Brian practically jumped away.
Michael stepped back just in time.  “You’re supposed to drink this, I’m not supposed to wear it.”  He handed the bottle of beer to his friend, taking in the expression on his face and the one on Justin’s.  Asking if he was okay wasn’t required.  Brian was far from okay.  But he didn’t need that pointed out.

“Sorry.”  They all heard Justin’s apology before he started away from them.  Brian reached out, touched his shoulder.
“It’s not your fault.  It’s….”  He trailed off, but Justin nodded and smiled.  He was surprised when Michael handed him a beer too.
“Hey, thanks.”
Michael shrugged once, and again when Brian looked at him, questioning.

Emmett straightened.  “How do I do this?” he asked plaintively.  “The last time I was in this position the stick was not in my hands!”
Justin rolled his eyes dramatically and moved off to the other end of the table to assist.  Michael watched, amused, taking a long swig of beer.  He almost choked on it when he felt Brian’s palm slide against his free hand where it hung at his side.  Warm fingers wrapped around his.  He was about to speak when he felt the grip tighten.  Brian was watching Emmett and Justin, and Michael, despite his slight confusion, slowly and carefully returned the hold.
 
 

Michael lost track of the number of men who came onto Brian, despite the man’s almost constant physical connection to his best friend.  It got to eleven-thirty.  Emmett declared it to be Babylon time.  Ted and Justin nodded their agreements.  Michael hesitated.  “Brian?”
Suddenly all eyes were on him.  He looked around him.  “Of course.”  He said it like it should have been the most obvious thing in the world.  Usually it would have been, but not tonight.

Babylon was heaving.  As always.  They made their way to the bar, and then to their favourite place along a part of the rail overlooking the dance floor.  For a while, Brian was his usual self; dancing provocatively with Michael and any guys surrounding them, throwing insults at Ted and Emmett, taking the drugs Anita had got for him.

For once, he’d gone to the men’s room only to take a piss.  The guy at the urinal next to him was looking, but he was used to that.  Men who didn’t pull on the dance floor invariably tried their luck in the restrooms.  Brian tucked his cock back into his trousers and was about to zip up when a hand closed over his at his groin.  He glanced up to meet the other guy’s eyes.  That hand was moving, fingers sliding inside his fly.  He felt the callused digits touch his skin.

Brian took a single step back, walking inadvertently into another guy behind him.  Turning, zipping up, Brian almost ran from the restrooms.

Michael looked up as his best friend grabbed his arm, panic in his features.  “Brian, what’s wrong?  What happened?”
His dark gypsy eyes were wild, looking around him.  “I have to get out of here.”
All the other questions could wait.  Michael put down his drink and pried Brian’s hand from his arm, putting it securely in his own.  “Okay, okay.  No problem.”
He led Brian through the crowd, glancing back every few seconds, taking in his friend’s nervous expression.  Whatever had happened, it had shaken him up again.

They were out on the sidewalk before Michael realised that Justin, Emmett and Ted had followed them.  For a moment, no one spoke.  And the Emmett broke the silence.  “Coffee, anyone?”
 

Debbie looked up as her son and his friends wandered into the diner.  She frowned, checking the clock.  Usually at this time on a Friday night they were at Babylon.  One look at Brian explained it all.  The five of them took a table for four; Michael sitting down first, reaching for Brian who went willingly into his arms, snuggling down with his back against Michael’s chest, Michael’s arms around his chest.  Debbie hadn’t the heart to scowl.

The other three squashed onto the seat opposite and Emmett linked his fingers on the table.  “Coffee.”  He declared proudly.  Four pairs of suspicious eyes stared at him.  “Okay, okay.  Vanilla milkshake.”
They all ordered something.  Justin ordered ice cream.

While they were waiting, Michael pressed a kiss to the top of Brian’s head.  “What happened?” he murmured softly.
Brian looked around at the friends who had cut their night short for him, given up any chance of taking someone home tonight.  Why was beyond him.  But he was among people he could trust.  They might take the piss, might tease.  Would definitely remember this for years to come and constantly bring it up at inopportune moments.  But they would understand, they cared, and they wouldn’t laugh.

“Some guy… came on to me at the urinal.”
He felt Michael tighten his embrace, showing his understanding, felt his friend’s chin on his head, the complete security of Michael’s arms.  Emmett made a face, Ted said, “well, that’s something new,” and Justin shook his head.
“I hate it when that happens, don’t you?” he asked, exaggeratedly.
Brian smiled at their humour.  It was what he needed and somehow, they knew that.

Deb brought their drinks, her gaze settling on her son sitting cuddling his oldest friend.  She met Brian’s eyes, thinking to herself how soulful those stormy orbs really were.  “You okay, Hon?”   He nodded.  And that was it, but it was enough.  Ted saw the look pass between them.  Brian didn’t need the heavy questions that at least he wanted to ask.  So he found some others.
“So… these flowers that I’ve heard so much about…?”
Brian frowned, but he knew what his friend was doing.  He couldn’t believe how lucky he was, couldn’t believe he’d only just realized it.  He opened his mouth to speak, but his cell phone interrupted him.  Fishing it from his jacket pocket, he flipped out the mouthpiece.
“Yep.”
“It’s me.”
Brian closed his eyes and smiled.  “Hey.”
“Either I’ve got the time wrong, or Babylon’s really quiet tonight.”
“We left.  Thanks for….”
The English voice at the other end interrupted him.  “Flowers.  It’s okay – I won’t make you say it in front of your friends.”
Brian chuckled.  “Two of out of four were there when they arrived.”  He glanced up to see five pairs of eyes regarding him.  Deb glanced at Justin who shrugged and glanced over at Michael.  Both caught his affectionate kiss into Brian’s damp hair.
Vince was chuckling, obviously under the influence of several drugs – legal and illegal.  “Blimey!  Sorry.”
“Don’t mention it.  Where are you?”
“Just got in.”  He gave Brian a moment to calculate the time difference.
“Vince!  It’s six thirty in the morning with you!”
“I know….”  There was a smile in his voice.  “Stuart took me out.”  There was a suggestive tone to his voice and Brian surprised himself with the stab of jealousy.
“Tell him he better treat you right or I’ll come out there and kick his ass.”
He heard the delicious giggle on the other end.  “It wasn’t a date!”  There was laughter from somewhere behind Vince.
“Yeah, right.” Brian let the teasing into his voice.  He knew only too well how Vince felt about this Stuart character.  “What are you doing calling me?  Get him into bed!”
“It’s not like that,” Vince protested, but he was sounding distracted.
“Hang up, Vince.  Get fucked, then ring me back.”
There was a pause, and then a slurred.  “Love you, Bri.”
The words took him completely by surprise, but Vince hung up before anything else could be said.

Brian ended the call and closed his phone up.  He faced his friends with the best clueless expression he could muster.  “A friend.”
There was a light in Emmett’s eyes that Brian recognized.  “The same friend who sent the flowers?”
Justin leaned forward, “What is this about flowers?!”
“Someone sent Brian a van full of flowers this afternoon,” Emmett filled him in joyously.  “The loft has the divine scent of a wedding!”
Justin turned his raised eyebrows on to Brian.  “Really?  And who’s the secret admirer?”
“Can we drop it?”  The tone of voice definitely indicated that the conversation was over.

Deb was only willing to change the subject.  “Where’s David?” she dropped in to the conversation, before catching her son’s eye and leaving the lads alone.
Emmett picked it up.  “So, where is the gorgeous doctor?” he asked quietly.
Michael shrugged as Brian turned his head to look up at his best friend, eyes searching Michael’s face.  But he wasn’t going to push, not this time.  His attention was reclaimed by Justin tapping his arm from across the table.  “I found a photograph of you in Michael’s room.”
Everyone, including Emmett – who had been rapidly coming to regret asking about Doctor Dave – appreciated yet another change of subject.  “You were so sweet at the age of five.”

*

Michael sat on Brian’s bed cross-legged, trying to sort the events of the last two weeks out in his head and continuously coming up with only one conclusion.  He heard the cascade of water from the shower cease and the sounds of Brian stepping out and drying off.  He sighed quietly.  He’d been settling down with David, life had been quietening.  He’d thought that was what he wanted.  But although these were the wrong circumstances, he knew he was going to make the right decision.  Deb was going to kill him, it would be months before Emmett and Ted stopped lecturing him, Justin would probably never forgive him.  Not that he cared.

Brian appeared in the bathroom doorway, wearing nothing but a white towel that was thrown over his head and covered his face.  Michael couldn’t help but study the slim form.  The dark bruises that had adorned his upper arms, hips and thighs, after the attack, were fading now.  He certainly had the body to back up his charm and boyish good looks.  Michael had long ago forgotten what had first attracted him to Brian.  He could still remember the first day the new boy walked into class.  He just had a presence, a confidence that people responded to.  Back then it was kids wanting to be friends with him.  These days it was tricks wanting to fuck him.

Brian rubbed his hair fiercely with the towel and pulled it away, smiling at Michael’s intense regard.  Michael met his expression, and laughed.  It was a reaction that caught Brian by surprise.
“That isn’t the usual reaction I get when I’m naked.”  He pouted, but Michael couldn’t hold in the hilarity.  This beautiful man standing stark naked in front of him, muscles rippling, full cock and heavy balls hanging from dark pubes, eyes hooded, lips parted, and his hair looking like he’d just pulled his fingers from the mains was one of the most wonderful things Michael had ever seen.

Brian smirked and throwing the towel forcefully at Michael, he padded down across to the kitchen area to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.  Returning to the platform, he flopped back on the bed, shifting up next to Michael, leaning up on one elbow.
“What are you going to do about David?” he asked quietly.
Michael let out a long, deep breath.  “I guess I’m gonna go see him, tell him I’m moving out.”  Surprisingly, he didn’t feel the sadness he’d imagined he would feel when it came to this.

Brian tipped the water bottle up and took a few long gulps.  “Because of me?”
“No.”  Michael looked down at his best friend.  “Yes.”  He shook his head.  “It’s always been about you, about my… inability to let go of you.”
Brian chuckled.  “Ted would say it was my inability to let go of you.”
“Ted would.”  Michael took the bottle from Brian’s hand and took a swig of the ice-cold water.  “But the truth is we’d both have to let go, and neither of us can.”
“I tried,” Brian murmured quietly, staring off into the corner of the room.  “I tried pushing you away and when that didn’t work I tried keeping you at arm’s length.”
Michael thought back.  “Yes, you did.”  His brow furrowed.  “Until two weeks ago, when it was like it had been before David or Justin.”
Brian smiled to himself, bowing his head.  “Yeah, well….”
“What happened?”
“I met Vince.”

Brian turned on to his front, folding his arms under his chin.  “I met him in a chat room.  Something about his profile caught me.  When I tried to talk to him, he asked me to describe myself.  Then he asked me to describe myself really.  I got his email address out of him and sent a photo.”  He smiled to himself.  “He said it was the first time anyone had told the truth in their profile.”  Michael laughed.  Typical.  “When I asked him to return the favour he refused.  It took me all night and a lot of e-sex to change his mind.  But when eventually sent the photo, he sent his phone number too.  So I called him.”
Michael unfolded his legs and stretched out on the bed next to the other man.  “Can I see the photo?”
Brian seemed to consider that.  Then he lifted himself up on one arm and leaned over Michael to open the drawer in the bedside cabinet.  He pulled out a colour-printed photo and handed it to Michael.  Michael studied the photo for a few seconds.  He looked young, blond, with a wonderful smile that gave him dimples in both cheeks.  “How old is he?”
“Thirty.”
“Really?  He looks a lot younger.”  Michael had been expecting someone totally different, in a totally different pose.  He was sitting in one corner of a couch, a cushion on his lap that he seemed to be threatening to throw at who ever was taking the photograph.
“He has a friend – Stuart.  They’ve known one another since High School, about as long as Vince has been in love with him.”
Michael’s eyes widened.  “Wow.  A kindred spirit.”  He flashed a smile across at Brian.  “So what does he see in you?” he teased.
Brian shrugged.  “I’m just irresistible.”  He took back the photo and dropped it carefully into the drawer, closing it.  “He doesn’t ask anything of me, doesn’t expect anything from me.”  Michael answered only with his eyes.  These moments of confession were extremely rare for Brian, it was best not to interrupt them.  “It’s selfish, I know.  I’m selfish.”
“No, you’re not.”
Brian snorted and turned over, pulling the duvet up from the base of the bed over himself, glancing up at Michael.  “I promise not to take advantage if you get naked.”

Michael stripped off, feeling a little self-conscious despite the countless times Brian had seen him undressed, and climbed into bed, under the duvet.  At his friend’s coaxing, he lay down on his side, face inches from the gorgeous features he knew better than anyone’s.
“What are we doing?” he whispered softly, trying to keep the humour in his tone to lighten this unexpected turn of events.
“Whatever you want.”  Brian moved his foot so that their toes touched.  A moment later, he leaned forward and covered Michael’s mouth with his own, smiling as lips parted for him without a thought.  Michael touched the tip of his tongue to Brian’s as it slid passed, then licked over his top lip.  The kiss was slow, simply one man exploring the taste and texture of the other.  This was beyond anything they’d ever shared, beyond anything Brian had done for a very long time.

Finally they separated, each pulling back far enough to be able to breathe.  “You taste fantastic,” Michael whispered, smiling that familiar smile that Brian had seen hundreds of times and only now had worked out what it was.  Mikey’s defence system was hard at work here, protecting his heart and likely his sanity from being worked over and trodden on by Brian Kinney.  It had always been there, he realized, and sixteen years had honed it to perfection.

Bringing one hand up, Brian ran the tip of his left index finger over Michael’s bottom lip, keeping his expression serious.  “You don’t have to do that, I’m not going to break your heart.”
He was surprised when Michael laughed.  “Oh, yes, you are,” he said simply.  “But it’s okay, it mends really fast.”
Brian felt like he’d been kicked.  Reaching around, he gathered Michael to him, dropping onto his back and pulling his best friend over him in a tight, intimate hug.  Smiling, happy, Michael settled with his head on Brian’s chest.  “I’m not worth it, Mikey.”  His own words sounded like a plea.
“You are.”  Brian felt the warm breath over his nipple, the light stubble of a day’s beard growth moving against his skin.  “I’ve always known you were.”
“I told Deb… I’d always thought we’d end up together, a couple of old queers in Palm Springs.”
He felt Michael make a face.  “Palm Springs?  I’m retiring to Miami Beach!  I’ve always imagined spending my last years lying on a lounger and eyeing up all the young men.”
Brian couldn’t help but laugh at the image.  “Do you imagine me with you?”
“No.  I imagine you’ve already collapsed, exhausted after too much sex.”  He lifted his head and winked.  “Course I’ve imagined you with me, Silly.”
The humorous confession, no matter how much he’d made up, made Brian feel better somehow, safer.  “So we’re agreed that we’re going to retire together,” he summarized, feeling Michael’s nod against his chest.  “What about the years between now and then?”

Never, in a million years, would Michael have taken the question seriously.  Brian knew that.  And so, as he asked, he drew the backs of his fingers over Michael’s cheek, over his jaw and down his neck.  And he left the question hanging in the air, not speaking again, waiting until Michael got the idea that he was expected to answer.  He chose to throw the question back to Brian.  He knew the others – Ted, Emmett, his mom – didn’t think he realized Brian had spent half his life manipulating him.  But they were wrong.  He knew, he just let it happen.  He knew Brian’s tactics better than anyone.  “What about them?”  He was rewarded by a frustrated sign.

Brian took a deep breath.  “Do we spend them together, or apart?”
“Together!”  The answer was immediate.  “I’m not going to leave you.”
He hesitated.  “I know.  It’s just… it’s a big step for me, you know, and I’m not sure….”
Michael lifted his head, hoisting himself up on to one elbow.  His expression was one of dire confusion.  “What’s a big step?”
Brian stared into his friend’s big brown eyes.  “Committing to you.”  It wasn’t that difficult to say, after all.
Michael’s eyes went wide, his mouth falling open.  “Committing to me?  Did I miss something?”
For the first time ever with Michael, Brian was suddenly unsure.  “I thought….  You and I….”
A chuckle rumbled from Michael’s chest.  “Brian, you are not ready for ‘you and I’, believe me.  As badly as I want it, as much as I love you, I know that and so do you.”  He watched the shock, the surprise flit over the gentle features.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean….”  Shaking his head, he managed to touch his lips to the full ones.  “I get one shot at you,” he winked.  “I’m not taking that shot until I think I stand a chance of hanging on to you.”

Barely believing what he was hearing, Brian could only stare.   Smiling happily, Michael kissed him again, then settled back onto his chest.  “Just one thing,” he added, his words caressing the hard bud of Brian’s nipple.  “I’m not waiting until we retire.”
 

end part three
elfin

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