“I think I’m in love with your brother.”

Don looked up from studying the patterns on the surface of his beer and settled his eyes on Colby. God alone knew how much it had taken for the man to tell him but he’d just been waiting for it, had known for a long time that it was coming. Still, he made the guy sweat for just a little while, staring at him as he picked at the label on his beer bottle. Only when he finally glanced up with that really scared expression on his face did Don actually smile. Then Colby smiled, let out the breath he’d been holding, shook his head and murmured, “Bastard,” with an affectionate tone.

“Sorry, man. It’s just that I knew, you know? I mean, I’m trained to notice things and while Charlie might be oblivious sometimes, I’m definitely not.” He finally started to drink his beer, stopped thinking about patterns... stopped thinking for a second about his brother in ways he definitely shouldn’t be.

“When did you work it out?”

That was an easy one to answer, not so easy to explain. It had been the night they’d arrested Richard Taylor - the man who’d arranged the attack on Charlie, paid men to run him off the road, to shoot him; kill him. Don had needed to make things right between them again – they’d had an argument, sure, but he’d had it in his head that’s all it was. Charlie, on the other hand, had neglected to tell him he’d been followed, terrorised, because he thought Don was pissed off with him. That wasn’t right. It hadn’t sat well with him and while he’d been unable to say it in front of David and Colby, he’d said it at the first opportunity he’d had. Charlie had been home when he’d got back, sitting hunched over a notepad in a chair in the lounge...

...for a while he’d stood silent and still, watching his brother, letting himself take in what he’d come so close to losing and losing Charlie was something he couldn’t even contemplate. Finally approaching, Don stood in front of Charlie and as Charlie looked up, he reached down, put his palm against his brother’s darkly stubbled cheek, slipping down to his throat, thumb brushing along the sharp line of his jaw. “I’m so sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t come to me. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me and I mean, really needed me.” Charlie nodded against his hand, swallowed, and took a moment to say,

“Thank you.”

‘Thank you’ almost broke his heart. Since when did Charlie think he had to thank him for... for what? For apologising? He crouched down, fingers playing lightly on his throat. “I love you, Charlie, you know that, right?” he watched Charlie’s eyes slide away from his, “Charlie?”

A nod. “I know, Don.”

“I just don’t say it often enough?”

“You don’t have to say it.”

“Don’t show it?” He didn’t need an answer. Slowly he pulled Charlie’s head towards his, encountering no resistance, leaning in until they were forehead to forehead. “I get so caught up in the work. Dad reminded me that you’re not an agent... I forget, Charlie, and I’m sorry for that too.” He wasn’t getting through, all this apologising. “What do you need from me, Charlie?” he asked softly, “you need more?” Finally Charlie lifted his head, nose sliding against nose, mouth half an inch from Don’s so he felt more than he heard when Charlie whispered,

“Maybe.”

This was something he never thought they’d be doing again, something they hadn’t done for years, but he found that he wanted it. When he settled his mouth over his brother’s, when he tasted Charlie again, he remembered how good it used to be; Charlie’s hand sought the back of his head and he surged up. After that, nothing could have stopped the inevitable.

~

They lay facing one another in Don’s bed, Don tracing light fingertips over Charlie’s hands, arms, face, shoulders, just touching, enjoying the freedom to.

“You okay, really?”

Charlie moved his head. “Yeah. Colby dragged me out to the roof of the FBI parking lot, made me talk about what happened.”

Don felt the frown touch his mouth. “Colby?”

“Yeah. I thought it was weird too but... it worked, Don, turns out I needed to talk.”

“Can’t believe you talked to Colby and not me.” But as soon as he said it he knew why Charlie hadn’t been able to. “Sorry. Sorry – I know....”

“He asked.”

“Yeah.” He deserved that. “So what did one of my best agents say to my little brother?”

“Less of the ‘little’.” Charlie smiled. “He said it didn’t matter how scared I was, didn’t matter if I wet myself, I had to talk about every detail.”

“Did you?”

“Talk?”

“Wet yourself?” Charlie’s eyes slid away again; despite what they’d just done he was still embarrassed. Don pushed his fingers into Charlie’s hair. “It’s okay.”

“I was so scared. I thought I was going to die, thought he was going to kill me. When he started firing....” Moving closer, Don wrapped his arms around his brother and brought them closer. When Charlie squashed himself into his side, something inside him melted and he thought maybe he had a chance at fixing this.

“If anyone threatens you again, no matter how paranoid you think you’re being, you tell me, okay? Promise me.” He felt Charlie nod. “Promise me, Charlie.”

“I promise.”

“We’re gonna be pissed off with each other sometimes, Chuck, but don’t ever think I don’t care because I do – have done all my life and always will.” Charlie’s hands on him tightened. “I was scared to death too, you know, after the call came in. I just wanted to get to you, to make sure you were okay. And afterwards I kept blaming myself for getting you into this.”

“Interesting how we’re so quick to apologise for that and yet this....”

This was illegal, this was the felony; this was where the danger lay.

“This is us, Charlie, this is who we are. We can’t help that. I love you, in every way there is. We crossed the line long ago, no point in feeling guilty about it. No one’s ever going to find out - no one’s going to get hurt.”

Charlie was quiet for a time, and just when Don thought he’d fallen asleep, he said, “I think Colby likes me.”

He was all but asleep himself, not really listening, “They all like you, Chuck, you’re very likeable.”

“I don’t mean... I didn’t mean....” But he didn’t say what he meant and it wasn’t until the morning when Don understood.

“The morning after we bagged Richard Taylor.” He picked up his glass. “Charlie told me you’d taken him out, made him talk about the attack. I just thought... I knew you had a... a crush or whatever on Bonnie Parks, but still it seemed a little odd. Have you said anything to him?”

Colby shook his head, “No... Don... I kinda thought I should ask your permission.”

Don tilted his head. “Charlie’s his own man.”

“Yeah,” Colby snorted, “well, you’re the boss man and he’s your brother and you get really scary whenever anyone messes with him.” He took a deep breath. “So I’m asking, Don. You mind if I ask your brother out?”

“Colby, man, you’re a friend, a great agent.” He drank half of his beer. “And if you lay a single finger on my brother, they won’t ever find the body.”

Colby just couldn’t work out if he was serious or not.


fin