Stopping The Present by elfin

It took him two years.  But when he finally found it he’d had a long time to plan and he knew the exact right moment to strike.  He’d spent every night remembering, walking through that morning in his head – his every word, his every step.  And when he was eventually standing back where he started, Connor knew just when the opportunity would present itself - to grab himself and lock himself in the toilets.

Cutter and Stephen were halfway along the corridor, banter passing so easily between them in a way he could barely remember, both smiling.  Two years since he’d seen Cutter’s face, three since he’d laid eyes on Stephen.  He stood in the doorway of the guys’ toilets, just watching them – the bow of Nick’s head, Stephen’s hand on his shoulder – just listening to them –Stephen’s filthy laugh, Nick’s heavily accented, amused admonishment.  He missed them so much in the present, seeing them here in the past brought tears to his eyes.

They were heading for the double doors at the end of the hallway, about to burst out into the glorious sunshine, back towards the carelessly parked Hilux.  They were off to the Forest of Dean, to the first anomaly, blissfully ignorant of the pain and destruction the knowledge was going to bring.  They couldn’t know.  Connor had decided.  He was sure of it.  They couldn’t know.  Let someone else lead the team this time around, let someone else carry the heavy burden.  As they pushed open the doors and stepped into the sunshine, he caught sight of Stephen’s hand cupping the back of Nick’s neck affectionately just before the exit swung closed behind them.  Let someone else make the sacrifices – these two men had made enough.

Breaking into a run, Connor burst out through the doors behind them.  “Guys!”  They stopped and turned, waiting expectantly.  “Sorry...” he made it sound completely sincere, “it’s all over the Internet – a couple of local amateur film makers have just owed up to faking the animal sighting.”

He watched Nick and Stephen hesitate, heard Nick say, “Maybe we should check out the area anyway,” and his breath caught.

Stephen shook his head.  “It was a long shot anyway, if some clowns were mucking about....  We have so much to do it just seems like a waste of diesel.”  Thank God for Stephen!

But Nick was obviously still uncertain and he’d come too far to let them leave.  Connor called out, “It’s my fault, I wasted your time.  Sorry.  Listen, let me buy you both breakfast, yeah?  I’ll even attend your lecture this afternoon, Professor.” 

He watched Nick look at Stephen, and whatever he saw there made him grin in a way Connor had missed so damn much it physically hurt to see it now.   To his heartfelt relief, Nick shrugged.  “Okay, you’re on.  Breakfast.  And two lectures.  Maybe you’ll get a taste for them.”

Connor held up his hands as the men walked back towards him.  “I’m absolutely certain I would – will!  Just got something I have to do, then I’ll meet you in the refectory.”  He ran back inside.  He and his past self needed to have a very, very long talk.

Abby had told him he couldn’t change the past, but Cutter had told him once about Claudia Brown.  He could only hope and pray he was still alive in the future when he stepped back through the anomaly.